Unconditional Love

I have waited to write this post because I couldn't even get through the title with out many tears, so many tears that my vision was literally impaired. So I waited because, time heals, right? I am not so sure. Time makes the heartache less painful but time has not yet made the emptiness or sadness go away.

On Monday, September 9th we put of Collie, Missy, of nine years down. It was a day that I knew was coming over the past year, due to deteriorating health. It was a  day I dreaded and put off until I knew I had to. I am so thankful that we, as pet owners, are given the option to put our pets down in such a peaceful way. But at the same time, when you make that final decision, whether it is the right decision or not, there is this tiny (feels huge at times) feelings of guilt. Guilt that I let my dog down and guilt that I didn't try everything I could.  Deep down I know I did but  . . .

For those of you who were luck enough to know Missy know what a perfect family dog she was. She had the temperament of an angel, so sweet & gentle, and to top that she loved everyone. Well not everyone, she did hate a few cars that drive by & did not like trucks or people she didn't know too close to our house. She was very protective of the kids. I felt so much more safe when I had her outside with the kids. I would get annoyed at her barking when these trucks or cars would go by, now I find myself missing it. Maybe not the annoying part, but the safety part, the reassurance that I knew she was truly looking out for Wylie, Kasey and Tori (even their friends).

What I wish now was that I would have taken pictures of me with Missy, after all, I was her momma.  The kids made sure they got pictures with her the weekend prior but when they asked me I just redirected them because I wasn't feeling strong enough and every time I hugged Missy I lost it. Yes, I cried with the kids, but I controlled myself a little. I tried not to do the "ugly cry" in front of them.  I ugly cry enough when I am alone. I must have said a dozen times in the last few weeks, "why do we do this to ourselves? get pets only to know that we will have to say good bye." Well, the answer is easy. They are truly there to give us unconditional love. To be so happy to see you when you come home whether you have been gone for 5 minutes or all day, their excitement when you are lazily petting their head, they don't care, still so happy to get that half ass pet. They are there to, in the dead of a sleep when you call their name, wake up and come running not even knowing what for. They trust you completely. It's true love.

I can not imagine growing up with out the love of a pet and getting to love one back. I am thankful that I can give that gift to my kids. They love BIG and that makes me happy! xoxo

~It's My Life